He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
