so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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