What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
