Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
