even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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