If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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