i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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