What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
