Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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