Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
