This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
No subtext here. People are naked.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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