D3 body, D1 cock
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize