u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
