I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
