I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
