No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
