so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
