Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize