You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
