I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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