I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize