You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
