turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
