butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
