I just cut my nipple shaving
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize