I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
