So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
