haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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