I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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