I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
operation harelip BJ is a go
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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