Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
