how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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