i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
