We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
