Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
