Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
