the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
