You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize