I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
