my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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