if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
