Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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