I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
