We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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