So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
