time to smoke my breakfast
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
