Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
