Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
