I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
