I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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