Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
