hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
