We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
