My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize