See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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