good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
