brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
