your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
