What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
