Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
